In Spite Of (Panic! at the Disco)
May. 27th, 2007 02:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
laughingtaleTitle: In Spite Of
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wordsaremyfaith
Fandom: Panic! at the Disco
Pairing: Ryan/Spencer
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1024
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, this never happened, I am making no money off of anything.
A/N: Forseanarenay, who wanted to read more fic - or any fic - where Ryan tops Spencer. And being me, I couldn't just write porn, I had to write a whole setup and best friendliness. Unbetaed, partly because it's comment fic and partly because I'm lazy. So it may be a little rough around the edges. Many thanks to chopsticknoodle and bruisesonguitar for hand-holding.
The thing is, everyone seems to think that Ryan’s this slutty gay boy who just wants to be fucked.
And yeah, okay, that’s slightly true, a little – the slutty part, and the gay part, mostly, though he’ll sleep with girls on occasion – but what seems to throw everybody off is, Ryan doesn’t want to be fucked. He wants to fuck.
He’s had a ridiculous number of almost-hookups. He made out with Pete for about an hour, once, and was almost completely naked when Pete put the condom on himself. Ryan said, “I don’t...” and Pete said, “I can’t do the other way around, dude,” so Ryan pulled up his pants and went home.
He hasn’t actually slept with anyone in his band, all rumors to the contrary aside. He’s worried about fucking things up, and awkwardness, and all of that. Brendon probably would, if he asked, but Jon seems straight – or at least, not the kind of guy willing to take it up the ass, most likely – and Spencer, well, Spencer’s Spencer, the guy he’s known forever, whose house he used to sleep over at when they were little, who he went to his first concert with, and Ryan’s not going to ask, because it would mean too much.
He doesn’t mean to say anything, truth be told, but one day he’s just tired of not getting laid and girls just aren’t doing it for him and Spencer’s there. It’s one of those ridiculously hot summer days where the sweat is just dripping off you and you don’t feel like moving. They sit out in the shade on one of their rare breaks from touring, melting into their seats.
“Fuck, Spence, I can’t even remember the last time I got laid,” Ryan groans, out of nowhere.
Spencer laughs, surprised. “What about that time on the bus when I walked in on you?”
“Nothing actually happened.”
“Oh.” There’s a pause. “How come?”
“He wanted to fuck me,” Ryan says, simply. After a moment without elaboration, Spencer raises his eyebrows.
“And...?”
“And I don’t like being fucked.”
“Oh,” Spencer says again, softer this time, a little tentative like there’s more behind it.
“What?” Ryan asks.
“Nothing.”
“Okay.”
They sit in companionable silence. Ryan can tell Spencer wants to say something, but he’s not going to push. Finally, Spencer says, “I would. If you wanted... I would.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
So Ryan leans over and kisses him, sticky and slow in the heat. It’s just that easy, no overthinking needed.
“Inside,” Spencer mumbles, barely breaking the kiss, and Ryan nods a little.
They make it inside without stripping down to nothing, but just barely. Ryan’s already half-naked as he peels Spencer’s shirt off his body like a wrapper, tossing it aside. The next moments are a bit of a blur, but then their pants are gone and there they are on the bed.
Ryan leans down to kiss Spencer. “Hi,” he whispers against Spencer’s mouth.
“Hi,” Spencer whispers back, and then, “Ryan? I want you to fuck me.”
Ryan hasn’t fantasized about this, really, because that would just be weird, right? Dirtybadwrong, because it’s Spencer, Spencer would never –
– Except that apparently Spencer really, really would, and Ryan has fantasized, he’s just tried so hard not to, especially on the bus. This is not what he’d imagined, not exactly, but somehow it’s better, because Spencer really does want him, wants him this much.
“Yeah,” he whispers, not sure why he’s still whispering except that it seems like the thing to do. He grinds his hips into Spencer’s slowly. They’re both so, so hard, straining against their briefs, and why are they still in any clothes at all, really? He wiggles his own off as they kiss more. Spencer gets the idea and follows suit.
“Have you –” Ryan starts to ask, and Spencer says, “Yeah, I have, a few times,” eyes heavy-lidded, in the soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to Ryan.
Good, Ryan thinks, Okay, good, I don’t have to be gentle and he reaches down, first for lube and then for Spencer, pushing his first finger inside Spencer up to the second knuckle. He doesn’t want to go in any more than that, not at first, because people have said his fingers are too long in the past and pain isn’t exactly the goal, not right now anyway.
Spencer lifts his hips when Ryan adds a second finger and starts up a rhythm. “That’s good,” he says. “Stop, I want. I’m ready.”
“Really?” Ryan looks at him, scrutinizing, but Spencer just says, “Yes,” all breathlessly and it’s not like Ryan’s going to slow down now. “Okay,” he says, lifting his hips to position himself and pushing in. Spencer groans as Ryan starts to move inside him.
“Harder,” he says. So Ryan moves faster, rougher. He’s rewarded by the noises Spencer makes, half moan and half gibberish. Spencer’s jerking himself off, and Ryan places his hand over Spencer’s before pushing Spencer’s away entirely and taking over.
He’s not going to last long like this, not with Spencer under him, not with however many months with only his hand (and, okay, a few groupies, because, really, a guy can only go so many weeks). Spencer clenches around him just a little and Ryan bites his lip hard and comes with no warning. It’s only moments before Spencer follows suit, shooting onto his stomach and chest.
Ryan pulls out and kisses Spencer quickly, just a peck. After Spencer cleans himself off with a tissue, they lie there together, completely still. Ryan’s too hot again, even with the AC turned all the way up.
They don’t talk. They don’t need to. It doesn’t have to be rehashed and discussed, worried over and reassured about. There doesn’t need to be any sort of grand declaration of feelings. There never has needed to be. They know, that’s all.
It’s hard not to just close his eyes and let himself drift off, so Ryan does. When he wakes up a few hours later, Spencer’s smiling in his sleep. Ryan kisses him gently and smiles back.
Author:
wordsaremyfaithFandom: Panic! at the Disco
Pairing: Ryan/Spencer
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: None.
Word Count: 1024
Disclaimer: I do not know these people, this never happened, I am making no money off of anything.
A/N: For
seanarenay, who wanted to read more fic - or any fic - where Ryan tops Spencer. And being me, I couldn't just write porn, I had to write a whole setup and best friendliness. Unbetaed, partly because it's comment fic and partly because I'm lazy. So it may be a little rough around the edges. Many thanks to chopsticknoodle and bruisesonguitar for hand-holding.The thing is, everyone seems to think that Ryan’s this slutty gay boy who just wants to be fucked.
And yeah, okay, that’s slightly true, a little – the slutty part, and the gay part, mostly, though he’ll sleep with girls on occasion – but what seems to throw everybody off is, Ryan doesn’t want to be fucked. He wants to fuck.
He’s had a ridiculous number of almost-hookups. He made out with Pete for about an hour, once, and was almost completely naked when Pete put the condom on himself. Ryan said, “I don’t...” and Pete said, “I can’t do the other way around, dude,” so Ryan pulled up his pants and went home.
He hasn’t actually slept with anyone in his band, all rumors to the contrary aside. He’s worried about fucking things up, and awkwardness, and all of that. Brendon probably would, if he asked, but Jon seems straight – or at least, not the kind of guy willing to take it up the ass, most likely – and Spencer, well, Spencer’s Spencer, the guy he’s known forever, whose house he used to sleep over at when they were little, who he went to his first concert with, and Ryan’s not going to ask, because it would mean too much.
He doesn’t mean to say anything, truth be told, but one day he’s just tired of not getting laid and girls just aren’t doing it for him and Spencer’s there. It’s one of those ridiculously hot summer days where the sweat is just dripping off you and you don’t feel like moving. They sit out in the shade on one of their rare breaks from touring, melting into their seats.
“Fuck, Spence, I can’t even remember the last time I got laid,” Ryan groans, out of nowhere.
Spencer laughs, surprised. “What about that time on the bus when I walked in on you?”
“Nothing actually happened.”
“Oh.” There’s a pause. “How come?”
“He wanted to fuck me,” Ryan says, simply. After a moment without elaboration, Spencer raises his eyebrows.
“And...?”
“And I don’t like being fucked.”
“Oh,” Spencer says again, softer this time, a little tentative like there’s more behind it.
“What?” Ryan asks.
“Nothing.”
“Okay.”
They sit in companionable silence. Ryan can tell Spencer wants to say something, but he’s not going to push. Finally, Spencer says, “I would. If you wanted... I would.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
So Ryan leans over and kisses him, sticky and slow in the heat. It’s just that easy, no overthinking needed.
“Inside,” Spencer mumbles, barely breaking the kiss, and Ryan nods a little.
They make it inside without stripping down to nothing, but just barely. Ryan’s already half-naked as he peels Spencer’s shirt off his body like a wrapper, tossing it aside. The next moments are a bit of a blur, but then their pants are gone and there they are on the bed.
Ryan leans down to kiss Spencer. “Hi,” he whispers against Spencer’s mouth.
“Hi,” Spencer whispers back, and then, “Ryan? I want you to fuck me.”
Ryan hasn’t fantasized about this, really, because that would just be weird, right? Dirtybadwrong, because it’s Spencer, Spencer would never –
– Except that apparently Spencer really, really would, and Ryan has fantasized, he’s just tried so hard not to, especially on the bus. This is not what he’d imagined, not exactly, but somehow it’s better, because Spencer really does want him, wants him this much.
“Yeah,” he whispers, not sure why he’s still whispering except that it seems like the thing to do. He grinds his hips into Spencer’s slowly. They’re both so, so hard, straining against their briefs, and why are they still in any clothes at all, really? He wiggles his own off as they kiss more. Spencer gets the idea and follows suit.
“Have you –” Ryan starts to ask, and Spencer says, “Yeah, I have, a few times,” eyes heavy-lidded, in the soft voice he only uses when he’s talking to Ryan.
Good, Ryan thinks, Okay, good, I don’t have to be gentle and he reaches down, first for lube and then for Spencer, pushing his first finger inside Spencer up to the second knuckle. He doesn’t want to go in any more than that, not at first, because people have said his fingers are too long in the past and pain isn’t exactly the goal, not right now anyway.
Spencer lifts his hips when Ryan adds a second finger and starts up a rhythm. “That’s good,” he says. “Stop, I want. I’m ready.”
“Really?” Ryan looks at him, scrutinizing, but Spencer just says, “Yes,” all breathlessly and it’s not like Ryan’s going to slow down now. “Okay,” he says, lifting his hips to position himself and pushing in. Spencer groans as Ryan starts to move inside him.
“Harder,” he says. So Ryan moves faster, rougher. He’s rewarded by the noises Spencer makes, half moan and half gibberish. Spencer’s jerking himself off, and Ryan places his hand over Spencer’s before pushing Spencer’s away entirely and taking over.
He’s not going to last long like this, not with Spencer under him, not with however many months with only his hand (and, okay, a few groupies, because, really, a guy can only go so many weeks). Spencer clenches around him just a little and Ryan bites his lip hard and comes with no warning. It’s only moments before Spencer follows suit, shooting onto his stomach and chest.
Ryan pulls out and kisses Spencer quickly, just a peck. After Spencer cleans himself off with a tissue, they lie there together, completely still. Ryan’s too hot again, even with the AC turned all the way up.
They don’t talk. They don’t need to. It doesn’t have to be rehashed and discussed, worried over and reassured about. There doesn’t need to be any sort of grand declaration of feelings. There never has needed to be. They know, that’s all.
It’s hard not to just close his eyes and let himself drift off, so Ryan does. When he wakes up a few hours later, Spencer’s smiling in his sleep. Ryan kisses him gently and smiles back.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2007-05-27 07:35 am (UTC)and then, mmm, ryan topping spencer. i can totally work with that. THUMBS UP. <3
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:38 pm (UTC)Why is there not more fic where Ryan tops... anyone? Something should really be done about this, I say.
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-27 08:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-27 04:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-27 05:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-27 08:57 am (UTC)Also, ngh, Ryan topping Spencer was awesome, awesome.
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:40 pm (UTC)I struggled so hard with the actual porn part (well, that whole scene once I started it), so it makes me really happy that you liked it. And the rest, too. :)
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Date: 2007-05-27 09:20 am (UTC)I'm also in love with the part where Ryan has been fantasizing, but has been trying not to.
I like that they're friends and that what they have is unspoken.
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:41 pm (UTC)I'm glad that those two parts didn't come across as sappy/ridiculous. Sometimes I walk a fine line between sweet/subtle and saccharine.
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:06 pm (UTC)<3
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Date: 2007-05-27 04:43 pm (UTC)♥!
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Date: 2007-05-27 05:05 pm (UTC)(I imagine that five minutes after Ryan left, Pete was on the phone: "Hey, William?")
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Date: 2007-05-27 07:20 pm (UTC)(Haha! He so was. That's fantastic.)
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Date: 2007-05-29 12:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-03 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 04:40 am (UTC)<3
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Date: 2007-06-03 04:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-12 03:07 am (UTC)They don’t talk. They don’t need to. It doesn’t have to be rehashed and discussed, worried over and reassured about. There doesn’t need to be any sort of grand declaration of feelings. There never has needed to be. They know, that’s all.
Exactly. I like how everything just happens between without a lot of fanfare, that Ryan can just talk to Spencer about it and Spencer's okay with it.
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Date: 2007-06-12 03:18 am (UTC)That's one of my favorite bits, too. I love Ryan & Spencer as best friends, in whatever form that comes, especially when they don't need to make a big deal out of whatever they are. I'm glad you liked this! Thanks so much.
(Sorry for the double post. LJ hates me, apparently.)
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Date: 2007-06-21 05:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-21 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-22 04:38 am (UTC)I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW I MISSED IT.
GAH.
So hi, quotes!
Because this is seriously amazing, and you captured Ryan and Spence so perfectly. So yeah, awesome.
He’s had a ridiculous number of almost-hookups. He made out with Pete for about an hour, once, and was almost completely naked when Pete put the condom on himself. Ryan said, “I don’t...” and Pete said, “I can’t do the other way around, dude,” so Ryan pulled up his pants and went home.
I am not a Ryan/Pete fan in any sense of the word, but this was hilarious, in a tragic way, and that was TOTALLY Pete's voice. Completely and totally.
“I would. If you wanted... I would.”
It was forever ago, but I'm fairly certain I told you how much I adored this then, too.
And my favorite part in the whole thing:
hey don’t talk. They don’t need to. It doesn’t have to be rehashed and discussed, worried over and reassured about. There doesn’t need to be any sort of grand declaration of feelings. There never has needed to be. They know, that’s all.
It’s hard not to just close his eyes and let himself drift off, so Ryan does. When he wakes up a few hours later, Spencer’s smiling in his sleep. Ryan kisses him gently and smiles back.
Sigh.
This was perfect, and exactly the kind of Spencer/Ryan that there should be more of.